Muscled hairy black bear rims and pounds

Keeping Americans safe? I take my job very seriously, but you wouldn't believe some of the stuff that people try.

I'm a frequent traveler. I try all the time. All over. Summer Cinebitha, Mardi Gras, Winter Party, you name it, I'm there.

And I'm not talking typical lack of preparation. You don't know what to put in a box. No, I'm talking about world-class federal offense kind of stuff.

I was making my way through security, trying to catch my connection to New York. And of course, I get picked for some random macho power trip.

Maybe it's the way that I look. Profiling, you know?